Praise the Lord, saints of the most high God! Praise
the Lord everybody! It’s great to be in the house of the Lord today, for the
Lord is good and His mercy endureth forever! It’s always a blessing to be in
the presence of God, and in the presence of God’s people
I thank God and this church for the opportunity to
stand behind this sacred desk which we call a pulpit. For the opportunity to
share of the knowledge that God has bestowed upon me that I might lead this
flock into a greater knowledge of God, and His will for their lives.
I thank God that he is allowing us to come together as
a congregation and fellowship with likeminded people. People who not only have
a desire to live for God, but to help others live for God!
It’s no accident that those of us who are here today
are here. God doesn’t make mistakes and it’s no mistake that you are here. God
wants each and every one of us to learn something today. It may be for our
benefit or for the benefit of someone else. But God wants each of us to learn
something today.
We need to go to God in earnest prayer before we start
the teaching/preaching portion of this message. We need to ask God to help me
to teach His word correctly, and we each need to ask God to help us to learn
whatever it is that He wants us to learn.
We also need to ask God to show us who it is that
needs to know the things we are going to learn today, and for Him to give us
wisdom as we share it with them. We need to ask God for a humble heart as we
share, and for a share of wisdom as well. Let us pray:
Pray!!!!
This bible study/message, is intended to be a guide to
those who are seeking to follow biblical principles when they marry, divorce,
or remarry. While the Old Testament is given to us as a guide to the New
Testament; that meaning it is full of types and foreshadows of those things
which were and are to come, there are some things from the Old Testament that
are done away with or drastically changed.
Those
things are:
1. The sacrifice of animals for our sins. Jesus Christ
has once and for all paid the price for our sins. Hebrews 10:10
2. The dietary laws. What God hath cleansed, that call
not thou common. ” Acts 10:15
3. The Levitical Priesthood: All men who are called of
God may be ministers, not just Levites. Hebrews 5:4
4. The laws of divorce and remarriage
It is this last change that
will be a major portion of this lesson. So where do we start? I think the
beginning is always a good place to begin!
There
are two major principles that will be shown in this study:
1. Marriage is defined as: one man and one woman.
2. Adultery and abandonment are the only reasons for
divorce.
1. Marriage is defined as: one man and one woman.
Let’s start reading at:
Genesis 2:18-24 18: And the LORD God said, It is not good
that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. 19: And out of the ground the LORD God formed
every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam
to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living
creature, that was the name thereof. 20: And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to
the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was
not found an help meet for him. 21: And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he
slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22: And the rib, which the LORD God had taken
from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23: And Adam said, This is now bone of my
bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken
out of
If God had intended for men to marry other
men, he would have made Adam and Steve instead of Adam and Eve. But God did
make Eve and not Steve, so therefore a man is to marry a woman and not a man!
Conversely, a woman is to marry a man and not another woman.
Now you might say,
“that was the Old Testament, I only live in the New Testament age”. Well, I’ll
tell you right now, you need to understand the Old Testament as well as the New
Testament. If you lack understanding of the Old Testament, you will never
correctly interpret the New Testament. However, for those who would refuse to
believe that, here is some New Testament scriptures to continue the point.
Matthew 19:5 And said, For this cause
shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they
twain shall be one flesh.
It also
repeats this point in:
Ephesians 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and
mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
I can’t
imagine it being clearer that men, are always referred to as husbands, and
women are always referred to as wives. Therefore men are only to marry women!
But let’s look a little further.
Romans 1:24-32 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness
through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonor their own bodies between
themselves: 25
Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshiped and served the creature
more than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen. 26 For this cause God gave them up
unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that
which is against nature: 27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural
use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working
that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their
error which was meet. 28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge,
God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not
convenient; 29
Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness,
maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, 30
Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil
things, disobedient to parents, 31 Without understanding, covenant breakers,
without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: 32 Who knowing the judgment of God,
that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same,
but have pleasure in them that do them.
We see in this passage that homosexuality is wrong in the
sight of God. Therefore, God would never condone that which he condemns. But
let’s look a little further.
Leviticus 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with
womankind: it is abomination.
God says homosexuality is an abomination. Can anything that
is an abomination enter into the kingdom of heaven?
Revelation 21:27 And there shall in no wise enter into it any thing that
defileth, neither whatsoever worketh abomination, or maketh a
lie: but they which are written in the Lamb's book of life.
Nothing that is
abominable, or works an abomination shall enter into the holy city. If you
can’t enter into the holy city are you saved? No, you are not!
That said, if
anyone who is homosexual should enter into our church, I fully expect us to
show them the love of Jesus. If they can see the love of Jesus in us, then
maybe they will want a loving relationship with Jesus. God is not willing that
any should perish, but that all should come to repentance!
We do not have to
agree with their sins, or anybody else’s sins for that matter. But we do have
to show them love. We also have to show them the error of their ways. If we
fail to do so, have we shown them true love? I think not! If we fail to show
them in a loving way, God will hold us accountable for their blood.
This sin is no
greater than that of adultery, or just plain lying, so we need to get over the
stigma, and get on with the program! We truly need to pray that we have a
loving heart at all times, and never let a self-righteous heart get within a
country mile of us! It says in:
Proverbs 16:5 Every one that is proud in
heart is an abomination to the LORD: though hand join in
hand, he shall not be unpunished.
And it also says in:
James 4:6 But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God
resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.
I don’t know about you, but I prefer
grace from God than resistance created by Him! Now on to Part 2.
2: Fornication/Adultery are the only reasons for divorce.
In this section we will discuss what the Old Testament rules were
for divorce and then compare that with what the New Testament says is how we
are to currently view things. Let’s read:
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 1: When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it
come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some
uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it
in her hand, and send her out of his house. 2: And when she is departed out of
his house, she may go and be another man's wife. 3: And if the latter husband hate
her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and
sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to
be his wife; 4:
Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife,
after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou
shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an
inheritance.
In those days, you could divorce your wife for just
about any reason. If it were for Adultery she could be killed. This just says
he has found some uncleanness in her. Part of the meaning of the Hebrew word
which we translate “uncleanness” is disgrace, or blemish. The rest of the
meaning has to do with nudity or shame. This means that the husband could
divorce his wife for having a pimple, or for dressing too provocatively. If she
were to burn the breakfast for a particularly influential guest, she would have
shamed him and therefore he could divorce her.
The New Testament shows no such
attitude or power apportioned unto man. God made it much harder for a man to
divorce his wife in the New Testament. Let start reading in Mathew Chapter 5.
Matthew 5:31-32 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife,
let him give her a writing of divorcement: 32: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put
away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit
adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
The Greek word used for
fornication is porneia (por-ni'-a)
from which we get our English word Pornography. It means literally: harlotry
(including adultery and incest). In other words you can only
divorce your spouse for sexual sins according to this passage.
Some preachers stop at this
passage and never go any further in their search of the scriptures as to what
the fullness of the word of God says on the subject of divorce. They condemn
anyone who gets divorced and tells them they will go to hell if they get
remarried. They are only telling a partial truth, but more on that later.
While it’s tempting to say
that there are other reasons for divorce; such as physical and mental abuse,
those are not included. That said, I don’t know how any man could ever hit a
woman and still call himself a man when he looks in the mirror. A man like that
should be ashamed of himself, that he wasn’t man enough to deal with his wife
without resorting to violence.
Now let’s read:
Matthew 19:3-9 3: The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and
saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4: And
he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at
the beginning made them male and female, 5: And said, For this cause shall a man leave
father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one
flesh? 6:
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined
together, let not man put asunder. 7: They say unto him, Why did Moses then command
to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8: He saith unto them, Moses because
of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from
the beginning it was not so. 9: And I say unto
you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall
marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away
doth commit adultery.
In this passage,
Jesus reaffirms that only for the cause of Adultery can a man divorce his wife.
The word translated “Adultery” is the same root word translated fornication in Matthew
Chapter 5. This passage
could also be used as reinforcement that marriage is between a man and a woman.
Now let’s read what Mark Chapter 10 has to say, after all, we want our two or
three witnesses for every point we intend to make.
Mark 10:1-12 1: And he arose from thence, and cometh into the coasts
of Judaea by the farther side of
The
passage we just read doesn’t say there is any excuse which you could use to
divorce a woman. It does say if you marry someone other than the person you
were first married to, you have committed the sin of adultery. But as I always
say, we have to gather all the word of God, and then rightly divide it, in
order to get the full picture of what God is trying to tell us.
What we need to keep in mind here is
that Jesus was still speaking to people living under the Old Testament law.
Jesus had not died yet, so the New Testament had not yet taken effect. It tells
us in:
Hebrews 9:16-17 For where a testament is, there
must also of necessity be the death of the testator.17 For a testament is of force after
men are dead: otherwise it is of no strength at all while the testator liveth.
Therefore we need to look at what the
rest of the New Testament tells us on the subject.
Romans 7:1-3 Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to
them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as
he liveth? 2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her
husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from
the law of her husband. 3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another
man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free
from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another
man.
To those who are
widowed, though many may say that you are to remain single, this passage shows
that you can get married again. If you have been divorced, and your former
spouse is dead, you are no longer under the law, you are now a widow. You may
get married again. You are no longer bound to a spouse. But let’s look at:
1 Corinthians 7:39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if
her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in
the Lord.
Remember, that
light has no fellowship with darkness. If you get married again, you are only
to marry another likeminded Christian! Not someone you think will come to
church if you marry them. Not someone of a different faith, because you will
always have issues due to your different beliefs. You need to marry a faithful,
bible-believing Christian that loves God with all their heart, soul, mind, and
strength. Furthermore, you need to be one yourself!
This next passage I
am going to have to break down into sections because there is a lot of material
that needs to be covered before moving on to the next part. It says in:
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 And unto the married I command, yet not
I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11 But and if she depart, let her remain
unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away
his wife.
These verses are
speaking to those who claim to be Christians. There are times that those who
claim to be followers of the Lord Jesus Christ do things contrary to God’s
word. They are critical, violent, self-seeking, jealous, irrational, pompous,
spoiled, arrogant, ostentatious, judgmental, disparaging, envious, resentful,
little children. They have need of reading 1 Corinthians chapter 13 repeatedly!
Those who are
married are supposed to give themselves to their spouse, not force their spouse
to give all while they give none. Men; your wife is not you mother. You are
supposed to be an adult now, clean up after yourself so she doesn’t have to!
Ladies; your husband is not your slave. He needs time to rest and clear his brain
of all the fog the work week has shoved between his ears. Cut him a little
slack if he isn’t slaving over one of your projects every single weekend. Trust
me, he will love you a lot more, and do a lot more for you if do.
That said, if a man
or woman is physically, mentally, or verbally abusing their spouse. The passage
we just read gives them the right to separate from their spouse for a season,
but not to divorce them. If a person separates from their spouse, it doesn’t
give them the right to date other people. That’s committing adultery just as
much as if they had sex with them.
If you are
separated, you are to be celibate, and you should be working toward the
reconciliation of the problems that caused you to separate to begin with. You
are to remain single for the rest of your life, or get back together with your
spouse. No other options are acceptable to God, regardless of man’s opinion!
But what if your spouse is not a Christian,
can you divorce them? Let’s look in:
1 Corinthians 7:12-13 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If
any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with
him, let him not put her away. 13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he
be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
According to this
passage, if your spouse is not a Christian, you do not have the right to
divorce them! You are to stay married to them. You are to love them; you are to
show them the love of Christ. By learning to be humble, and becoming a true
Christian, you might even win them to the Lord. This is emphasized in Verse
16, which we will get to
in a minute. Just think, that one whom you love so much can become even more
loveable if they get saved!
1 Corinthians 7:14-16 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified
by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were
your children unclean; but now are they holy.15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him
depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath
called us to peace. 16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy
husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
These scriptures
teach us that we are to be a witness to the unbelieving spouse. Your faith and
relationship with God sanctifies your spouse and your children as well. Does
that save them? No, they are required to have their own personal, intimate,
eternal, relationship with God.
The children are covered until they are
old enough to know what the difference is between right and wrong. At that
time, they are required to develop a saving relationship with God. Your spouse
is sanctified in the marriage relationship. By this I mean they are considered
holy in the marital act so that your children are sanctified and holy. They too
need to “work out their own salvation with fear and trembling”, which is found
in Philippians 2:12.
For those who are
single, the Apostle Paul offered up this advice:
1 Corinthians 7:27-28 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to
be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. 28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not
sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall
have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
If you are married,
stay married. If you are single, stay single. If you get married, you have not
sinned….. But you will have trouble in the flesh because two becoming one flesh
in spirit as well as in body takes hard work and can be a lot of trouble until
you get it worked out.
If Sister Connie would come at this time:
To those who would
say, I blew it, I committed adultery, but God will forgive me and I can remarry
anybody I want. I just want to tell you, that your attitude still stinks, and
God will not bless your future marriage. You have not matured enough to hold a
marriage together and you will end up cheating and divorcing repeatedly.
Nowhere in scripture does it say that the guilty party can remarry, only the
innocent party. The guilty party was to be stoned to death so it really wasn’t
an issue in those days.
There are those who
would say that what they did before accepting Christ doesn’t matter. I ask only
this one question: Should a murderer be set free from his death sentence, or
his life sentence upon confessing Christ as their savior? I think not! They are
forgiven by God, and will go to heaven, but there is still a price to pay for
their sin on earth. I thank God that we won’t have to pay for our sins in
heaven!
Every sin we
commit, every sin we are involved in will leave a scar. Perhaps this scar will
last for all our lives. Things like AIDS, unmarried pregnancy, psychological
scarring from drug abuse. These things will leave us paying a price we do not
desire to pay, yet pay we must, at least for now, while in the flesh.
That’s why it’s so imperative that we seek
God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. So that we can prevent that
kind of scarring from destroying what God would desire to do for us, and in us.
If we have those scars, God can help us to live easier with them. We may have
to always deal with them, but our relationship with God makes them easier to
deal with.
In time, those scars may even fade to the
point they are barely seen, much less felt. But the process to get there begins
at this altar. Regardless of what area you may have had a shortcoming in, if
you need a spiritual healing, please come to this altar. If you have scars that
affect your life, please come to this altar. If you have some excess baggage,
and you need a helping hand, please come to this altar. If God has helped you
through these kinds of things before, then please come to this altar to pray
for someone!